I have my first therapy session next week, I haven’t even thought about it nor even spoke to anyone about it because I just don’t know how I feel about starting therapy. Part of me doesn’t feel like it’s going to be relevant to some of my thoughts ands struggles. I’ll just have to wait and see how it goes.

I’ve not posted anything for a while, I’ve been extremely busy working and if not working then sleeping. Work is starting to drag on my mental health but I don’t think it’s my fault, work hasn’t been that helpful with the way the shifts are.

My mental health has been a mixture of ups and downs recently. Mainly ups but the downs have been awful and again I’ve not bothered getting help or talking to any professionals at this point I just don’t feel anyone can help me expect myself and that’s something I’m trying to learn to cope with. I’ve been working out my triggers for my downs and how to work on them, I mean it’s not been easy but it’s improved.

My main triggers are my relationships and my body image. I have constant fear of losing my closest relationships, I have fear that they will leave me or I will do something that will make them leave, it’s hard to cope with on a daily basis but especially worse when arguing with these people. My other trigger being body image somedays will be okay but other days I just can’t even look down at my body or look in the mirror it makes me feel physically sick. I’m trying to manage this by going to the gym and trying to eat healthier as I do need to lose weight. One day I’ll hopefully be okay with my body image.

The main thing is that I’m working on recovering this is one step more than before.

Hannah x